Hidden Trauma

One thing I don’t talk about and this happened during the decade prior to the internet and no one will be able to search this online because what happened to me rarely makes the news because they don’t report this. This happened in the middle of the 1980’s around 1987. I was in 6th grade at the time, and I was living in the roughest neighborhood in the Housing projects called Mount Pleasant.  Where I lived, people don’t care and people get shot all the time by gang members and anyone. Even seen drug dealing out in the open as well and around the corners.

What happened was that in the mid 1980’s I was sexually assaulted as a child, while walking to an after school program. I was jumped by a Man who thought I looked like a young girl and he sexually assaulted and molested me. After that encounter I ran to the center and told, the staff what happened. Afterwards, they had two cops showed up at the center to report the incident and took me to the hospital to be checked out.  The next thing I know, I had a social worker from the state come and talk to me and told me it wasn’t my fault for being sexually molested and sexually assaulted. After that I was under the states social service care because I was sexually assaulted and molested as a child.

The thing with this, is that my folks never knew about this because she didn’t want my folks to learn about it and didn’t know how my folks would handle it. So between the City youth services, the police dept and the Youth services dept, they kept the matter secret and locked up in a file somewhere in city hall. They did that to protect me from further trauma and further psychological harm. Which was why for most of my Middle school and high school, I was looked over by the Youth services in my hometown and they made sure I wasn’t harmed by the effects the sexual assault and molestation. That’s why I had a social worker who I treated as my step mother and she took care of me while I was in Middle school and High school.

This is the one thing I rarely talk about to people because this was something I wanted to forget about. I don’t want to remember the horror of being sexually assaulted and molested and a young child. It’s why I rarely discuss this with anyone in my family or my friends because I doubt they can understand what happened to me. Majority of my folks don’t know what happened to me when I was young. At the same time, I try to forget the bad parts of living in a housing projects and in a ghetto. The only good parts I try to remember is hanging out with friends and even going to the park for swimming. Even going to school with same kids in the same neighborhood. Other than that, that’s one thing in my life I rarely, talk about to people.