Why I don’t get involve

At my age, I hardly ever get involved in anything from on campus clubs to organization in the community. It’s hard to be taken seriously as a person because no one hardly ever gave me a chance. The things I wanted to do on campus and off campus, I never got a chance to. I always felt left out and not included. Every organization I have been in, I never had a chance to show what I am made of. Even on campus, I never had a chance to take a leadership role or an active role on campus. I’m mostly in the background and hidden from view. I know it sucks, because being an intersex/DSD person and a deaf college student on campus, I never had a chance to be involve and included.  The reality is, I hardly ever get involve on campus or off campus. Every organization I have been in, I never had a chance and was always left behind and often wind up doing my own thing by myself.

Most times I do like to get involve on campus and off campus, but then I wind up being pushed out and pushed in the shadows. I wind up doing my own thing and doing things by myself. Even when it comes to activities that involve a group or organization, I largely do them by myself. Even on campus, I hardly ever get to do anything and most times, I simply go to class, labs, and tutors, work out in the gym and go back to my dorm. I don’t even get involved with any of the clubs on my campus because I always feel like I am left out. So for me on campus, I simply do my own thing and largely don’t get involve on campus. Off campus is practically the same thing and that even in off campus, I don’t get a chance to take a leadership role or an active role. Which in most cases, I wind up doing things by myself and alone. Which I’ve gotten used to being alone and doing things alone. I have gotten use to the fact that groups are never inclusive and I mostly wind up do things by myself.

That’s why, when it comes to being involved and active on campus and off campus, I don’t get involve any of them because I’m always pushed out and I’m never included. I never got a chance on campus for an active leading role or be fully included in any organization off campus. I most likely go solo on campus because the clubs on my campus were never inclusive, open and accepting of people. Even off campus, I hardly ever get to do anything and in most cases, I simply do things by myself. I often times look at clubs and organizations on campus and off campus as being foreign and very alien to me. Even if I had time left in college, I wish I could be involved on campus or have an active role on campus but then again I know that will never happen. Even off campus, I often feel left out most places and wind up going solo. Which is why as an Intersex/DSD person and a deaf person, I’m mostly excluded from the social life on campus and in society. I hardly ever have a chance to make a name for myself and be part of the campus community or in society. It’s why being deaf in one ear and born with an Intersex/DSD condition, I’m largely excluded from being involved and active. Sometimes I think I am being discriminated and denied a chance to have a normal life.

Which I hardly don’t care anymore because, I would rather have a life of my own and do my own thing instead of trying to be involved on campus and in the community. I know I’m never gona be given a chance in life and I learn to deal with what I have and play the cards I have on hand. That’s why I often times do things by myself and work on my own. I go solo and do my own thing because in life, I never had a chance and never given opportunities. Even on campus, I’m largely in the shadows and with my intersex/DSD condition and deaf disability, I’m not that active on campus and my main goal is to finish college, get my Masters in Nursing and get on with my LIFE. If I get a chance to be involve, included and take an active role, that’s great. If not, I still keep on going and I don’t bother trying to be involve.