What being born with an Intersex/DSD to me is that I don’t see being born with an Intersex/DSD condition as a Biological sex, gender, gender identity or sexual orientation. Intersex/DSD is a medical term to describe the fact that I have Kallmann’s syndrome. My version of Kallmann’s syndrome is the Kal-1 variation of Kallmann’s syndrome. Which means yes, I do have a micropenis and I do look very younger than my age. It’s why as an Intersex/DSD person with Kallmann’s syndrome, I don’t and never see my genetic medical condition as a biological sex, gender, gender identity or sexual orientation. I simply see Kallmann’s syndrome as just a medical condition that I am born with and I have to face and deal with.
What people don’t understand with my intersex / DSD medical condition, being Asian American, Laotian American and deaf in one ear. I have to work 3 times as hard to be accepted, recognized and heard. I have to fight a never-ending battle to simply exist and be accepted in a society that sometimes thinks I’m not intersex enough or intersex at all. I even have to fight, just to be heard, when many people would want to silence me and erase me for being a Laotian American who is deaf in one ear and born with an intersex/DSD condition called Kallmann’s syndrome. It’s a never-ending battle because too many times, I get trans and LGBT people who try to shut me down or run me out because they think I am not intersex enough or intersex at all. Even in my Intersex community, I often times have to face racism and sexism because being a racial minority, within a minority community. I don’t have a voice or a chance to tell my story. I get shut out and denied a chance to tell my story.
It’s why many people don’t know what I have to put up with and what I have to deal with, simply to be accepted as a person, let alone a human being who has an Intersex/DSD condition. The amount of racism and sexism I see in the LGBT and even in society is mind-blowing. I see so much of it, that many times I wonder why it’s worth the effort just to tell your story. Many times, I try my hardest to speak up for those who can never speak up or are too shy, but no matter how hard I try, my voice never get’s heard or it get’s silenced by the LGBT community.
What intersex/DSD means for me, is that I don’t see being intersex/DSD as a biological sex, gender, gender Identity or sexual orientation. I don’t look at Intersex as a label or identity. I see Intersex/DSD as a medical condition that encompasses many genetic DNA conditions that are listed as Intersex/DSD. I don’t sexualize being born with an Intersex/DSD condition and in fact I don’t look at it as a label or an identity. To me, Intersex/DSD is simply a medical condition that I am born with and I have to deal with for the rest of my life. Some people may see it as a sex, gender or gender Identity. To me, I don’t see it that way and I try my hardest to distance intersex/DSD from all the sex, gender, gender ID and sexual orientation politics.
That’s why for me, being born with an Intersex/DSD condition, I don’t care for all the sex and gender crap. I don’t care if people don’t think I’m not Intersex/DSD enough because the only people who I do care and REALLY know I am Intersex/DSD is my Nurse Practitioner and my doctor. People may think I am not intersex enough, but when they see me naked, they may have to think twice before judging me. It’s why for me as an Asian American, Laotian American and a deaf person, I have to fight very hard to be accepted as a person. No matter where I go in life, I am constantly on a wartime footing. I simply have to fight just to be human and be myself. It’s a never-ending battle because of the pressures I face in society and what I have to deal with . If people only knew what I have to face and deal with, they would be shocked and blown out of their minds.