What being 39 yrs. old has gotten me

Yesterday was my birthday and I turned 39 years old. Yea, I do not look 39 years old and I look more like a 21 year old. Its why no matter how old I am, I am always looking younger than my age.  It is sometime a gift and a curse all rolled into one. Though I am surprised, that I have made it this far in my life with many things and they sure surprised me.

One thing I am surprised about being 39 years old, is that I have gone this far in life being single and without a girlfriend. I had only one girlfriend in my life and that was only for 1 year and after that, I seemed to stop looking all together. That maybe because I am turned off by the standards that women have asked for in a person and that somehow women do not even see me as a person, let alone a human being. The fact is that many women I have encountered do not want to deal with a person who has an Intersex condition and a disability. Which is why, I have stopped looking for a girlfriend and instead focused more on my life and trying to have fun. Eventually a girlfriend will come along, but I am in no rush and I have all the time in the world.

The other thing 39 has gotten me is the fact that I made it this far with my Intersex/DSD condition. I am not too surprised that I have made it very far without any major medical issues associated with being Intersex/DSD. I am shocked that being 39 and Intersex/DSD, I lived this far in life. I know some would have many health issues with their Intersex/DSD condition and for mines; I am surprised that I have gotten this far in my life. Therefore, I would not be surprised or shocked, if I live to be a 100 years old. Even though I do inherit some genes in my family that lived up to 105 years old. Who knows, it could happen and I could live to be a 105 years old like my grandmother.

One other thing being 39 years old has gotten me, is that I have gone so far in life and not done a major thing. I have not assumed any leadership position in any organization and have not even made a name for myself. I mostly stay in the background and in the shadows because no one in my life has ever gave me a chance to do anything or lead in anything. Every organization I have been in or come across has never let me lead or do anything. I never got a chance to show what I can do and what I am made of. It is why at my age, I have gone this far and not lead and or done anything significant.

One final thing being 39 years old has gotten me, is the fact that I have come this far in life pretty much alone and with very little to no friends at all. I have been used to doing things alone and by myself for most of my adult life and pretty much have gotten use to the fact that if I wanted to do something, it’s most likely going to be along, by myself and with practically no one. It’s why for most of my life, I pretty much had to go it alone cause I don’t have many friends to hang out with and for most of my adult life, I don’t quite well doing things on my own. So I am not surprised or shocked I am still like this in to my old age doing things alone with very few to no friends along the way in my life.

Therefore, in a way, I am glad that I have gone this far in my life and being 39 is a milestone for me. I am glad that I am lucky that I do not have any major medical complications in my life and that I have relatively come out unscathed. I would not be shocked or surprised if I was able to farther in life.