What I learned in life is that being an Intersex person, Laotian American and Asian American means I pretty much don’t have a platform to speak up or tell my story. It’s really sad that In this country that I live in a country that supposedly claims to have freedom of speech but in reality doesn’t give a platform to anyone that doesn’t tow the line or panders to any special interest group. It’s why I am one of those who speak in the shadows and from behind the scenes because in today’s times, I don’t get to have a platform or tell my story unless I tow the line or pander to the special interest groups.
This also goes along with why I don’t get to do anything or get to be part of something. That is because I’m always silent and in the background. Being Intersex means I am fighting my own fights and fighting my own battles, with no support or no back up. It’s basically me against the world and it’s a struggle that people rarely get to see from me. I often times have to fight so hard to even be heard, let alone being able to speak my mind or express and opinion as an Intersex person who has Kallmann’s syndrome. It’s why I don’t speak up that often because my opinions or views are never validated or even allowed to speak my mind. I’m always told to keep quiet and speak in the shadows. It’s why I am always pissed when other Intersex people get to speak and tell their story but mines are always shoved out and never heard. It’s why my story will never get told and my story will always be lost in the wind.
It also goes to why I never get to do anything or be part of any organization or group. It’s because I am so quiet and so silent that you wouldn’t even know I was their until I say something or do something. I’m so hidden and quiet that no one wouldn’t know I was their or even exist at all. It’s why all the organizations or groups I have been in the past have never let me do anything or never let me speak up. They never let me contribute or be part of the action unless I kiss up to curtain people or play nice to curtain people. It’s why I have a HUGE distrust of any organization or community organization because of the fact that they are never inclusive and never let people who they bring in have a chance to do things. It’s why all the organizations and groups I have been in the past, I have never contributed to anything or done anything worthwhile. It’s why I never liked any organization or group because no one has ever gave me a chance and no one has ever gave me any opportunities that everyone else has.
It’s why being who I am, I never get to do anything that other people get. I never get to speak up and no organization on this planet has ever given me a chance to do something. Even as an Intersex person, I never get a platform to speak up, speak my mind or tell my story as well. It’s sad in 2016 that you can’t speak up, speak your mind or tell your story unless you tow the line or pander to some group. It’s sad that in 2016, you don’t get to have freedom of speech unless you pander to some group or tow the line and it makes me wonder why. It’s even sadder that I never have any equal opportunities that everyone else has in this country and makes me wonder why this country even matters when I don’t have any opportunities like everyone else. It’s why I often say that I never get to do anything or be part of something because NO one has ever gave me a chance or a shot at something.
Then people wonder why I am always bitter at successful people and people who get to do things, speak up, speak their mind and contribute to things. It’s largely because I am largely hidden in the shadows and speak with a silent voice because in 2016, I don’t get a platform to speak up or be part of any organization or group. I’m fighting and speaking solo and solo to the very end because No one has ever gave me a chance or ever let me speak up.