When people always ask what it really means to be born with an Intersex condition. You normally hear what white people have to say about what it means to be Intersex. What you don’t hear is what other ethnic minorities on what it means to be Intersex. In my case as a Laotian American, you don’t hear from me what it really means to be an Intersex person in the Lao American community. That is because the majority that run the LGBT, queer, liberal or progressive communities, they try to suppress anything that doesn’t fall in line with their delusional ideology. It’s why my story always get’s lost in the fog because my story and what it means to be intersex doesn’t matter unless you tow the liberal line or pander to them.
As far as my story, being born with Kallmann’s syndrome and as an Intersex person in the Laotian American community, I am always struggling to be myself as a person while being pressured by the Lao American community to conform to the male or female gender stereotypes. That is because in the Laotian American community, they have never dealt with anyone who has an Intersex medical condition, let alone being called LGBT. In the Laotian American community, most Immigrant 1st generation Lao often times consider being LGBT or having an Intersex medical condition as a form of mental Illness. That is because most of the 1st generation Immigrant Lao, have never been westernized and have never seen LGBT people in their own culture or back home in Laos. On top of that, they never experienced what western culture and western norms is all about. That’s why in my own culture and community, they never understood about LGBT or even for that matter about Intersex medical conditions.
It’s why many times as an Intersex person in the Lao American community, I am always pressured to conform to the Lao American communities expectations of what it means to be Male or female or even Man or woman. I’m always pressured because of the fact that the 1st generation immigrant Lao americans were never assimilated into the western culture and western norms. I was lucky enough to be fully assimilated into the Western Culture and western norms because I came to America as a baby and went to the American school system, where I learned to adopt and assimilated into the western culture and western norms. Most of the Immigrant 1st generation Lao, never had the opportunity to learn about western culture & norms and to be able to assimilate into the western culture.
Growing up Intersex, was often a struggle for me because of the fact that in the Laotian American culture, they never allowed any room for individualism. They never allowed people to be themselves and define themselves. You pretty much had to conform to what is expected of what Men and Women act, dress and behave. Being born with an Intersex condition, it was alot harder and often times a struggle to be myself and trying to conform to what is expected in your culture and community. I wanted to be myself and not be pressured into the Male or Female stereotypes and norms. I wanted to dress in whatever clothes that made me feel happy and comfortable. I wanted that individualism that was so common in the American culture but was hard to do in the Lao American community.
It was hard and often times very stressful and depressing because it often came with a heavy price for being myself, an individual and not conforming to the Lao American communities expectations of what Men and Women are supposed to act, dress and behave. When I dress a curtain way such as wearing leggings or tights to gym, class or work. I get flak from home because in my folks Lao American culture, it violates their norms and expectations. Even though myself being americanized and assimilated into the western culture and norms, it’s a common and accepted thing. Many times being born with Kallman’s syndrome and Intersex, I am often times pressured and intimidated into conforming to the Male sex and gender stereotypes. Even though as someone who has Kallmann’s syndrome, I could never ever be male or female, Man or woman no matter how hard they try. It’s because it’s something culturally they can’t deal with, cope with or even understand. That is in the Lao American Culture, they never had to deal or face this.
It’s why being an Intersex person who has Kallmann’s syndrome in the Laotian American community, it’s often a struggle and a fight that people don’t get to see and hear from me. No one would never know what it feels like to struggle trying to be yourself and being pressured from within your own culture and community into following the norms and expectations of what a Lao American Man or Woman is expected to act, dress or behave. Being an Intersex person and someone who has Kallmann’s Syndrome, it makes it far worse for me because I’m always bombarded and pressured to conforming to the Lao Male stereotypes and norms. Even though I’m an Intersex person with Kallmann’s syndrome and I could never be male or female no matter how hard culture, community, medicine and science tries. It’s really hard to be yourself as an Intersex person in a community who doesn’t have room for individualism or individuality. It’s either conform or be forced out. In my case, I am constantly being pressured to conform until I can make a clean break and create my own identity, individuality and not being pressured.
That’s why being Laotian American and Intersex is very difficult for me. It’s a struggle and a fight to be myself, who has an Intersex medical condition and being part of the Laotian American community. It’s a struggle that not many westerners get to see from my eyes and what I face on a daily basis.