Why I am , who I am

People have often ask me why I am who I am, it’s mainly because how I grew up and how I became who I am. I don’t become me overnight and it takes many decades of being beat down, shoved into a corner and hidden from view to come out in a world today, where I look at people as enemies than potential friends. I become who I am because I’m simply very bitter at the world who never gave me a chance or opportunity to do anything or leave my mark in this world. It’s why when I see people doing things, achieving things and leading things that I could, would and should had done. It often makes me feel like I’m left out of the world. It’s why many times, when I get left out of things, I simply wished I can tune out of the planet and do things by myself and alone.

When people have asked me why I go it alone and do things alone. It’s quite simple because not many places are very inclusive and not many places will ever give a new person a chance to lead or do something. I do things alone and I often go out and do things by myself mainly because people never see me or hear me.  Even when it comes to speaking up, I use to in the past speak up and speak up very loudly.  In the past, I use to speak up for anything but started to realize that I never was getting anywhere and No one was ever hearing what I have to say. It’s why now, I stop speaking up because I mainly never get heard or acknowledged. I stay quiet and keep it to myself. I only speak up when people ask me what I think, believe or view.

Many times I don’t get involve with anything mainly because of the fact that many people or organizations rarely give me a chance to lead or shine. Many places rarely give me a voice or let me speak my mind or opinion. On top of that many places rarely let me lead either because I’m not the type or that your not part of a clique.  It’s why I simply tune out and simply go it alone because of the fact that people rarely ever notice me or see the realness in me.