Tag: Intersex

My Undergraduate experience

My undergrad experience in college was never the greatest or like anyone else for that matter. Mine was pretty much different because of my disability and the fact that being deaf/hard of hearing in one ear made my undergrad college experience very different. That on top of the fact that being an Intersex/DSD person in college was a total different experience. The only saving grace in all that was because my undergrad college I went to, was a pure Liberal arts college and they were very liberal and accepting.

Being an Intersex/DSD person and a deaf/Hard of hearing person in college was always a challenge because being myself was always a challenge and often times made it very difficult. It was challenging because I wanted to find my own niche and fit in as much as I can. On campus, I was never accepted by the women’s center and by the LGBT center. The only place I found a home was with the disability office because of my deaf disability. That was because the disability center always wanted me to be independent and taught me to be myself. It’s why it took 5 years to finally learn to be myself and define myself not by my disability or medical condition but as a person and human being.

The part that sucked during my undergrad years in college is that I never really had any opportunities to socialize. The campus never made any effort to include disabled people and never made any effort to give disabled people a chance. I never played sports and I never joined any clubs or ran a club. The undergrad college I went to never pushed for inclusion for disabled people. Many of the events on campus, were never inclusive and never mindful of disabled people. Even in the dorm I live in on campus, I never had the chance to socialize with people and I never had any leadership opportunities. The bad side of all that is, I was left out any opportunities to socialize and lead, but the upside, I was able to be independent and myself.

It’s why my Undergrad college experience was not the same as everyone else because of my disability and my medical condition. Mine was one of independence and often times isolation. I was never included in any clubs or any sports on campus. I never once had the chance to lead and sadly, being a disabled college student, I was often treated as a 2nd class college student or even an inferior college student.

The worst part of my undergrad experience is how I had very little friends in college. I never made any friends from orientation up until commencement. I think that was because my disability was often a barrier on campus and that being disabled, people didn’t want to associate with anyone who had a disability. It was why I never had many friends on campus and often times did things by myself because I never had any friends to hang out with. It’s often why I always thought my disability was a barrier to friendship and the sad part was that my undergrad college didn’t help me socialize and make friends. It was why in the end my undergrad college experience was one of loneliness, isolation and independence.

That’s why my undergrad college experience sucked because being Intersex/DSD and Deaf/Hard of Hearing in one ear. It was one of being excluded and the other of being independent and being myself. It was a mix of being excluded and trying to be independent and doing things my own way. Thats why my undergrad college experience was not the same like everyone else, that I hoped and dream of.

Though I often times wished and dreamed if my college experience could have been anything like this. Sadly, that’s just a dream;



Asian kid with Kallmann’s syndrome

Pan Longfei is marching from Inner Mongolia to Beijing to raise awareness of the rare condition.

I pretty much can relate to this. As someone who has Kallmann’s Syndrome, I can understand what that kid is going through. I had the same struggles as this kid and his story is no different than mines. This kids story is why people need to hear because their are people like me who have Kallmann’s syndrome and we’re often hidden from view.

Source: 90s Kids: The Kallmann Syndrome Patient | Sixth Tone

The hidden Cost of Kallmann’s syndrome

2016-05-14 18.58.18-1What many people don’t seem to see about being Intersex and having Kallmann’s syndrome is that there is a huge hidden cost to being intersex and having Kallmann’s syndrome. One of those huge hidden cost I bear is the fact that I look way younger than my age and I’m never taken seriously as a person. It’s something that not many people know what it means to be intersex and have an intersex/DSD medical condition like Kallmann’s syndrome. That’s why, what many people don’t see is that I struggle to be taken seriously as a person despite having Kallmann’s syndrome.

One thing that many people don’t see is that being someone who is Intersex/DSD and having Kallmann’s syndrome, it’s hard for me to be seen as a serious person or a person at all. I am often times looked down as being way younger looking than my age. Despite being 40 yrs old but I don’t look like a 40 yr old and often times people mistaken me for a 23 or 25 yr old. Because of that, it’s often why I don’t get many opportunities in life and I am not in a relationship with women. The one that bothers me the most is that having Kallmann’s syndrome and being intersex/DSD, I’m always looked at as being younger looking than my age and not being seen as the true age. It’s why, the hardest part in my life is trying to be seen as a serious person or a person at all. Instead I’m seen as being too young to be taken seriously and as a result, I’m left out of all the opportunities in life. It’s why I don’t get to do many things in life that other people get to do and as a result I am shut out of everything in life.

That’s why for me, I mostly stick to myself and have very little to no friends because the fact that people don’t see me as a real person or take me seriously as a person. They see me as being young looking or not mature enough. It’s why because of my Kallmann’s syndrome and being intersex/DSD, I don’t get many opportunities that other normal people get to have. I’ve sheltered myself because the fact that people don’t take me seriously anymore and don’t even see me as a viable person. It’s why I don’t date women because of the fact that many women wouldn’t want to date someone that looks way younger looking than their actual age. It’s why I have stayed single for a long time and will most likely be single until the very end.

The sad fact is that, what many people don’t seem to realize is that there is a HUGE hidden cost to being intersex/DSD and having an intersex/DSD condition like Kallmann’s syndrome.  That cost is something that many delusional queers, trans or the LGBT don’t seem to get and will never get unless they are born into it. It’s why I tell people, it ain’t no fun being born with an Intersex/DSD condition because there is a hidden price to pay and that hidden price has a huge biological, physiological and psychological cost attached to it. That cost to me is that it’s nice to look younger than your age but it comes at a HUGE cost of not being taken seriously or not being seen as a viable person. It’s something I have to face and deal with for the rest of my life as a someone who’s intersex/DSD and has Kallmann’s syndrome.