As an Intersex person, when it comes to clothing choices, those things are basically a huge toss-up for me. The reason for that is because being an Intersex person, I can fit into both men and women’s clothes more easily than everyone else. The other is that one hides my Intersex body, while the other flaunts and shows it. It’s why I sometimes hate mens clothes simply because they are too big and often times hides my Intersex body from view. Where as women’s clothes oftentimes highlights and shows off my Intersex body. Which is often why being an Intersex person, I much prefer women’s clothes over Men’s because Men’s clothes hides it and women’s shows it. On top of all that, Men’s clothes never accommodates my Intersex body, whereas women’s clothes accommodates my Intersex body.
It’s why, having an Intersex body is often very hard for the simply fact that most men’s and women’s clothes won’t fit on me. It’s why being an Intersex person and having an Intersex body, I can get away to a certain point on women’s clothes because I have a micropenis, ambiguous genitalia and my body frame can fit into them. It’s the one advantage I have in being Intersex is that my body frame can easily accommodate both men and women’s clothes. It’s like for example, I can easily get away with having a one piece swimsuit on because I have the body frame for it and I don’t have that issue of tucking my Micropenis because it’s so damn small that I barely feel it. When it comes to dresses, Skinny jeans and etc, I can get away with them to a certain point.
Which is why most people oftentimes ask me what clothing choices do I have as an Intersex person and quite frankly, I often times tell them it’s a mixture of Men’s and women’s clothes and the ratio is 80:20. Although most times I prefer women’s over men simply because of the fact that I like showing my Intersex body and I am comfortable with my Intersex body. When it comes to men’s clothes, sometimes I feel weird or small in them because they hide my Intersex body and they make them feel like I don’t have a body at all. Even though I can get away with men’s clothes but often times I won’t choose to wear them, simply because they make me feel uncomfortable in them. Though in some instances, if I am forced to wear guys clothes, I can get away with them, but often times, I feel much more comfortable with Women’s clothes and that my Intersex body feels better in them.
It’s why, having an Intersex body and having Kallmann’s syndrome. My clothing preferences are largely based on what my Intersex body can fit into and how comfortable I am in with either men’s or women’s. This largely holds true for most Intersex conditions out their. That is because depending upon the Intersex body that your born with, will dictate what clothing preferences you have and mines is mostly a mix of Men and women’s. Simply put, I am mostly comfortable in women’s clothing but I can be ok with Men’s clothing as well.
I went to the gym last night and this was not my usual gym I go to. I went to the Southington community YMCA last night and the one thing that stuck with me that irritated me so much. When I was trying to find the Family/Gender Neutral Locker room, the people their assumed I was a Biological man and tried to force me to use the Men’s locker room. They didn’t understand that that the Wheeler YMCA that I go to, I normally use the gender neutral/family locker room because I’m an Intersex person and a Deaf person. They somehow assumed and misgendered me for a biological man and didn’t see a disabled person. It somehow irritated me because they assumed something without even asking.
Being an Intersex person who has Kallmann’s syndrome and a deaf person, I am not always that comfortable in using the men’s locker room or Men’s bathroom. I prefer to use the Family/Gender Neutral locker room because it’s much more comfortable for me and less stressful for me. My home Gym that I go to such as the Wheeler YMCA, has a Family/Gender Neutral locker room setup for intersex people like myself and disabled people like myself as well. The gym I went to yesterday, had a Family/Gender Neutral Locker room but the one problem was that they made false assumptions about me without ever asking what I identify or what Locker room I prefer to use.
It really irritated me because of the fact that some people don’t see Intersex unless it’s told up front or even known. Even with my deaf disability, people don’t normally see disability unless they are in a wheelchair. It’s why sometimes, society has a hard time in seeing Intersex people and disabled people because we can blend in so easy that we can never be seen unless we make it known to them. In my case, I made it known to people but people assumed and misgendered me without ever asking me questions. It irritates me that being an Intersex person with Kallmann’s syndrome and a deaf person. People and society still misidentify people and assume so many things without asking.
Which is why I am going to try and steer clear of the Southington Community YMCA because of how they treated and assumed something about me without even asking. Instead, I’m gona stick to my home gym at the Wheeler YMCA because of the fact that they have a Family/Gender Neutral Locker room for intersex and disabled people like myself. They fully understand my disability and Intersex issues better than the neighboring YMCA.
The hardest and sometimes most depressing part of being an Intersex person in an Asian family, is when they are trying to force me to hide my Intersex body in male clothing that makes me feel very uncomfortable. It harder on me being Asian American in a culture that has very rigid notions of what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman. It’s harder on me being an Intersex person in an Asian American culture where I don’t fit into the normal biological man or woman stereotype or role. It’s often why in Asian American culture, they try to hide and erase Intersex people like myself mainly because Intersex people don’t fit into their notions or ideas of what it means to be a Man and a woman.
It’s why just today, I came home from work and my folks brought mens tank tops and they wanted me to try them on, even though they didn’t fit me and made me feel uncomfortable in them. They are trying their hardest to hide my intersex body because in their mindset and culture, they think and intersex body brings shame to them and no one has ever taught them the western notions of what intersex means and what it means to be a Man or a woman in a western culture. It’s why harder on my folks who raised an Intersex person and can’t understand and accept what it means to be born with an Intersex condition. They can’t accept my Intersex condition and that they are trying to hide my Intersex body from society.
My folks often try to hide my intersex body, mainly because they can’t understand or comprehend what it means for someone to be born with and Intersex condition. Their notions of what it means to be an Intersex person, is that they think being an Intersex person is crazy or mentally ill. They never understood basic science or never was educated in a western education system like I did. It’s why they never fully understood why I am intersex and they tried to fix me and hide me because of my Intersex body.
It’s why for me, the hardest and most challenging part of being an Intersex person with Kallmann’s syndrome is having to deal with an Asian American Culture who doesn’t make any room or allowances for Intersex people like myself and doesn’t understand that being born with an Intersex body is normal and not to be hidden from view. It’s why I have always faced a challenge where within my own ethnic culture, I am trying to carve out a niche for myself, when my own folks are trying to hide my intersex body. It’s a battle of trying to be myself in a culture that is sex and gender repressive.