Being Gay and Queer in the Laotian community

Nicky:

Great Job. Even as an Intersex person in the Laotian Community. I still face sexism and homophobia in the Laotian community as well.

Originally posted on Little Laos on the Prairie:

Guest bLaogger, Danny Khounthavong Guest bLaogger, Danny Khounthavong

Minnesota is my home because it’s where I have lived all my life. I live in a small town that is known for its diversity called Worthington. The Laotian community in Worthingon is very well known, and the mayor Al Oberloh attends and celebrates the Lao New Year event. As a first generation college student, I am currently attending the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities. One of the biggest thing that sets me apart from most Laotians is that I’m gay. I’m one of the few out gay Laotians in Minnesota and I don’t want it to be that way. There have been questions and curiosity if there are LGBTQ Laotians out there, and I am here to say, “Yes there are LGBTQ Laotians in the community, and yes we do exist.” We are more prevalent than the community thinks about, or are informed about internally and externally…

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The realities of Intersex

One thing I am finding so irritating is the fact that many of the Gays and Trans have used the Intersex/DSD name as justification or to legitimize their political agenda at the expense of Intersex/DSD people. What I find very shocking is that almost all of the people, who use the intersex name to further the Gay or Trans political ideology, have failed basic biology and basic genetic science. As an Intersex/DSD person with Kallmann Syndrome, it pisses me off when I see people online using the Intersex/DSD name to further their failed ideology or political agenda.

I have seen many instances online where people bring up Intersex people as if it is proof or legitimacy to argue their point at people. It makes me wonder why the hell they are bringing up intersex/DSD people, as if being born with an intersex/DSD is a sex, gender or gender identity. It seems like some either don’t know what being born with an Intersex/DSD condition actually means or that some are just clueless idiots who think intersex/DSD is a convenient way to argue at someone at the expense of others.

In many ways, it just pisses me off when I see the Intersex/DSD name being used to argue a political agenda or an Ideology. It is nothing more than a MAJOR Red Herring and MAJOR Red FLAG when anyone tries to bring up and Intersex. I see so many red herrings and Red flags that I sometimes get nauseated. I see so many people who use the intersex name in any argument that I sometimes have to puke in the toilet. It just boggles my mind as to why these delusional LGBT, Liberals and progressives try to use intersex people to further their argument.

What do they gain in using Intersex/DSD people or the Intersex name in their arguments? It seems like some of these LGBT, Liberals and progressives think that by using the Intersex name, they think its legitimizing intersex people or they think they are helping intersex people. In reality, it is not helping and it is actually hurting intersex people and making it a heck of a lot harder to be treated and recognized.

One of the most damming ways the LGBT, Liberals and progressives are hurting intersex people is when every time they bring up intersex people in any arguments. People assume that being born with an Intersex condition is a sex, gender or gender identity, instead of being just a medical condition. The LGBT, Liberals and progressives do more harm to Intersex people by sexualizing intersex conditions and fetishizing intersex people. They actually make it very hard for Intersex people to exist, when you have LGBT, Liberals and progressives using them constantly to push their political agenda at people. Many people who have Intersex/DSD conditions cannot come out and say they are intersex because they fear being sexualized and fetishized by the LGBT, Liberals and progressives. That is why you do not see to many people who are the REAL deal, medically diagnosed intersex people because they fear these people who pervert their medical condition and I do not blame them.

Many times online, when I see these so-called intersex people online. Almost 90% of them are either lying to people or they never got medically tested & diagnosed. Almost the majority of those who claim to be intersex and never were tested are either trans or genderqueers who think being Intersex is a sex or gender identity. The reality is, none of them would never make it or get used to it because in some of the known intersex/DSD conditions out there. There are intersex conditions that have MAJOR health issues that can literally kill them if left untreated and not medically cared for. There are major health issues that are associated with having an Intersex/DSD condition that I would not even wish on my worst enemies. In my case with Kallmann Syndrome, on top of being deaf in one ear and not having the ability to smell anything. Being on a highest risk for osteoporosis and major heart issues would be the biggest health issue in my life. On top of the fact that your rendered sterile from birth to death and can’t reproduce naturally.

What many people do not understand is that, when you use the intersex name to further or justify your argument and stance. Your actually co-opting and appropriating someone else’s condition. Your cheapening their medical condition, life experience and upbringing, just of justify and legitimize your argument at someone’s expense. As an Intersex person myself, it hurts me when my condition is cheapened whenever someone uses the intersex name to argue a point or agenda.

Which is why I am not fond of people using the Intersex name to argue or legitimize an agenda. It is a major RED HERRING in my book and it’s wrong to use someone else’s existence to further there’s at someone else’s expense. It’s why the LGBT, Liberals and progressives that do that all the time, piss me off and sometimes frustrate the living hell out of me and many times pisses off Intersex people, Intersex activist and the Intersex community. The reality is that the LGBT, Liberals and progressives pisses off Intersex people, Intersex activist and the Intersex community all the time when they steal their name.

What it really means to be Intersex

When people talk about what it means to be intersex and what they read about being Intersex, they sure were not mentioning these people on buzzfeed. What many people forget is that their many other people who have verifiable and diagnosed Intersex/DSD conditions like CAH, AIS, Turners, Kallmann’s and Klinefeltners as well.  We often forget about them because the media, society and intersex groups want what is hip and trendy as well. Many people often forget about other people who are Intersex/DSD and do not even ask them what it is like to be Intersex for them.

Therefore, in a way, I am going to give you my take on what it means to be Intersex/DSD and have Kallmann Syndrome. What many people do not know is that it is not easy being born with Kallmann syndrome and having ambiguous genitals. It is not easy looking 10 years younger than your age and having people think you look like in your 20’s instead of your actual age. I have had many people tell me I do not look 39 yrs old and instead look like 21 or 22 years old. Which often times surprises people when I do tell them my actual age. The other thing I often tell people what it means to have Kallmann syndrome is that I do not have the ability to smell anything. That is because my pituitary gland is so small, that it barely functions at all. Which is why I could not tell you if you stink or I smelled that fragrance or aroma. That is why in all my foods in the fridge, there is a clear label with the expiration date to remind me when food is bad. With Kallmann Syndrome, I am deaf in one ear and the other ear is holding on but will give out eventually. Which is why I have hearing aids and use them in loud situations.

The one thing I tell people about my intersex/DSD medical condition is that, having Kallmann Syndrome makes me infertile and I can’t have kids naturally. My body doesn’t produce any testosterone or any sperm for human reproduction. That means for me, I have no way of ever making a woman pregnant naturally and I have to rely on medical technology to make it happen. Even with my micropenis, I would not have the ability to have any normal sex life as well. That’s why with my penis, it will never grow and it never meet any normal natural male standard.

The other thing I tell people about having Kallmann syndrome is that many times people have often confused me with being a woman or looking way too young for my age. That is because being Asian American and Asian decadent; it is known that many Asians look much younger than their age. Even for me, I am often told I look much younger than my age and often times told I am lying about my age. When I show them proof, they are often times shocked. That is because of having Kallmann Syndrome and being younger looking than my actual age.

It’s why my point of view of what it means to be intersex is different from many other intersex people because they all depend on what type of Intersex condition they have and not all intersex conditions are the same. Some intersex conditions affect the body differently and are dependent upon medical factors and what the genetic DNA says. When you see that buzzfeed on what it means to be intersex, it’s taking a sample of what it means to be intersex and their view will depend on what type of intersex condition they have.

Which is why in the case of my Intersex condition. What it means to be intersex varies so much from one intersex person to intersex people will largely depend on what kind of intersex condition he or she have and what their diagnosis is.  It is why for my Intersex condition, mines are unique in the Intersex community and that is something that is worth documenting and talking about. However, many other intersex people would equally like to share their story as well.  It would be a shame if their stories are not heard and learn what it means to be intersex from their prospective.  Mine, I’m always glad to tell my story on what it means to be intersex/DSD from a point of view of someone who has Kallmann syndrome and is living with this condition.